Day 3 Gym Chuggers

At the front of my local shopping centre is a kiosk for a fitness centre. All around it beautiful young things try to entice, less beautiful, less young but more thing shoppers to part with their credit card details and sign away their souls to the devil that is gym membership. Now why is this being brought up on my 100 days of grumpiness blog I hear you ask. Well, I’ll tell you. The beautiful people always ignore me, it is as if I am not there, invisible, see through. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not desperate for a gym membership, and if I was, I am big enough and ugly enough to speak to them myself, no the thing causing my perturbation is that fact that I don’t even get asked. Every other Tom, Dick and Honza gets badgered but I am ignored. Why? I remember when I first started going to Brighton, about 10 years ago now, I would be pestered up and down the lanes by people giving out flyers to all the trendy clubs. On my last visit there I didn’t get offered one flyer. It was then I realised that I was too old for that town and my grey hair, beer belly and dodgy ankle would not be welcome in their clubs. This is a similar situation, but surely a slightly overweight, wheezing 40 something would be perfect for gym membership. I wonder how many men like me have signed up with enthusiasm only to never set foot in the place after the first or second time. So beautiful young things if you are reading this, next time I come into the shopping centre make sure you try to catch my eye and try to sell me a membership, you never know, I might just bite.

If you enjoyed this you might enjoy my short story blog, updated with a new story every weekday. Find it here.