Day 12: Being a Manly Man.

So after a long period of inactivity I have finally decided to get my bike out and see if it is still roadworthy. I like cycling or at least I do until I am on the bike and then I think it is the most laborious pastime ever, but that is for another day.  It’s been two years or more since I last cycled so the tyres certainty needed pumping up and I guessed the chain needs some oil.  Whist pumping the tyres I noticed the back one looks a little bald. Now this is where my problems start. I am probably the least (stereotypically) manly man I know. Most of my friends if they spotted a bald tyre, would be off to the shop to buy a new one with a spring in their step. Looking forward to the opportunity to get their hands dirty changing it. They would probably give the whole bike a quick service while they were at it and then do some drilling or hammering or something just for good measure. But not me, I think - oh no I will need to get someone to look at that, because I have two left hands, the DIY skills of a rat. No, that is being unfair on the rat who would probably be able to build its own nest and be able to change a light bulb. (the light bulb in my store room has been blown for months.)

I can cook and iron and write poetry* but when it comes to changing a spark plug, wiring a plug, or hammering a nail, I  don’t have a scooby**.  Sometimes I wish I was gay so I could have a real man to look after me. So I will take my bike to a shop and be patronised by the staff there who will be thinking what kind of man are you that you can’t even change a tyre? They will then probably overcharge me for being so pathetic. Sadly, in my experience bike shops  don’t accept poetry as payments.

*I can’t write poetry as this proves.

** scooby doo clue - rhyming slang. 


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